Where Are You Going?

Imagine you are sitting on a bench against the wall inside your local bus station. As you watch men and women board and pay their fare, you look at your cell phone to check the time. Your screen lights up. It’s 7:05am. Your bus is late. You are sure that you arrived early enough, even before the workday rush began (which has since subsided). So, you continue to sit, thinking your bus will surely come soon. But, minutes become hours as you wait impatiently.

Finally, after growing frustrated, believing that all others have reached their destinations and you have not, you decide to go to the counter. The customer service rep greets you with a sincere smile that tells you she is happy to be of assistance. “How may I help you?” “Yes ma’am,” you respond. “What time will my bus be arriving?” At this point, your frustration is beginning to show. Clearly, the wait is affecting you. She responds with a question of her own: “What bus are you waiting for?” Upon hearing this question, you stop. And, you ponder. “What bus am I waiting for,” you begin to wonder.  With no answer to this question, you say, “I am not sure.” “Well, where are you going?” the customer service rep asks. You stop again. Once more, you are faced with a question for which you don’t have an answer. “I am not sure.” You've always simply thought that you were supposed to keep moving forward to… somewhere.
            Confusion sets in on the face of the young lady. “I’m sorry, but I don’t know how I can help you if you don’t know what bus to take or where you are going.” She waits for your response. Becoming even more frustrated, you say to her, “Look! I should have been there by now! But, my bus hasn’t shown up yet! Can you just tell me how to get there?” At this point, she is probably thinking you are in need of medical attention. Instead of trying to assist you any further, she goes to get the transit security officer. When you see the officer approaching, you walk away and board the closest bus in the station.

Sounds insane, huh? Well, of course it does! How can you expect to get where you are going if you don’t know the destination? And, how can you possibly expect someone else to help you get there? As strange as this might seem, people do this everyday. Some of us hear the saying/scripture, “Ask and you shall receive,” and believe that we can ask for something vague, like success, and wait around for it to happen. We expect God/the universe/the law of attraction (or whatever you may believe in) to interpret our request and fill the order with little or no specifics or effort on our parts. When God or the universe or the law of attraction tries to help, we become frustrated when our requests and desires are not answered as we believe they should be.
           You may even feel this way yourself. You may not know exactly where you would like to be in life; all you know is that, at this point in your journey, you should be there already. “Others have reached success. Why haven’t I?” You can’t seem to figure out why you have not yet gotten there yourself. But, before we can get there, there are a few things we must do, including defining what success looks like to us.

First, we must decide where we are going before we can get there. What do we want out of life? What is it, exactly, that will make us happy? What is it that will give us that feeling of success and fulfillment? These are all questions we must answer before we start the journey. Otherwise, we end up wandering aimlessly on a random bus to anywhere but here.

Second, we must make a plan with a tentative schedule. This is how we set goals. In order to set a true goal, we must have a predetermined destination and a specific time of arrival. Just like a bus, we must have a route. How do we plan on getting there? How do we know when to get off the bus, meaning how will we know when we have arrived? Asking ourselves these questions will help us create an attainable goal.

Third, we must take action and not wait around for some unknown miracle to happen in our lives. We must decide what fare we are willing to pay (sacrifices to be made, actions to be taken) in order to reach our goal. Even if we know the destination, we can’t expect to sit in the station and be teleported to where we want to go. Asking Scottie to beam you up won’t work here. This is gonna take action!

Think of how ridiculous the story above sounded as you read it. You may have said to yourself, “This sounds so stupid. It’s not even close to realistic!” Now, take a look at your life. Think about the journey you are on or hope to embark upon soon. Do you know what it is that you want out of life? Do you know what will make you feel successful? Happy? How will you get there? How will you know when you have reached it? What are you willing to give or do to get it? What if you don’t know? Simply saying, “I want to be happy,” or, “I want more money,” is not enough. If I were to give you a five dollar bill, you would have more money than you started with. Would this make you happy? Would this complete your journey to success? Probably not.

Like the lady at the counter, begin to ask the right questions. Ask yourself what your specific goals are for your life (long term and/or short term). Then ask yourself how you plan on reaching these goals. This might take some time for you to mull over, but the answers will help you to get where you are going. The time spent and the effort put forth will give you clarity and confidence. And it will also keep you from sitting around waiting and looking ridiculous!